Drifting along in life...

Four weeks and some hours until the wedding. I wasn't sure this would actually happen, but it seems to be coming together. I wish I wasn't so tired so I could enjoy this time, but I am f-ing exhausted. I am taking a new medication to cover for the exhaustion, but more and more, I am realizing, I am barely functional. Today, I left work after a really hard week and 20+ partner nominations in one day, I noticed for the first time the new Nintendo building that was sprouting up beyond the half-court/basketball hoop area. Its at least 3 stories high, all the iron work for the new offices... I guess I remember the crane being there, but wow, that thing just appeared like magic.

My second WTF observation was the missing building by the thrift store. I cant even say I remember a building being there in all honesty... it just seems emptier than it was. I think there was something there. Maybe? I mean, I have driven on that road every day I am going home and demolition didnt happen overnight...

I have had a really tough week. I havent found the energy to make myself breakfast or lunch to take to work, I havent slept well, my work week sucked... I could barely drag myself through classes and I dont know how I am going to survive this quarter and the 6 more after this one... And I miss my fiance. I havent cooked for him or seen much of him lately. I am lonely. I miss spending time with my friends, I wonder what kind of horrible friend I am for not seeing them in ages.

I am worried that I will not be able to sleep any better than I am. Even if I didnt have to go to school for 16-20 hours a week, if I get a career, it will want 50-60 hours a week, so I won't be able to have a life after I get done with school. What if I am never able to sleep any better? I couldn't be a mom like this. I'd be a terrible mother with as tired as I am. I dont even take good enough care of my fiance, my dogs or my home... I honestly don't think I am going to get better. I don't think I could be mother if I wasn't better. Because let's face it: I need a mother to take care of me, because I am definitely not well enough to take care of myself.

Sick before School Starts!

I am home on the couch for the second day in a row. I started to feel like crap last Tuesday, but I was in a training class with Jenni and I couldnt bum out of it. I stuck it out for all 2.5 days (Wed-Fri) and I even found the energy to go to the Cross Country meet to watch Michael race. Finally, yesterday, I went to the doctor and was running a 100.2 fever after taking two Tylenol almost 2 hours earlier. I have a sinus infection, I am on antibiotics and I am coughing a lung out. Senna and Louie have been loving and have taken good care of me.

I start school at UWB tomorrow... I have class at 3:30 tomorrow until 8pm. I have Managerial Economics and Management of Organizations and I am excited and nervous and a little overwhelmed because I havent slept well in over a week from this sinus infection and I have a lot of work to catch up on tomorrow when I return to work. I am totally mentally out of it and I am really exhausted still. Fingers crossed that I am OK tomorrow.

Michael is also starting school tonight! He will have class Tues-Thurs, while I will have class Mon & Wed. Such is life, we'll miss each other, but at least puppy bears wont be alone as much as if we were both going to school Mon and Wed or Tues and Thurs.