Drifting along in life...

Four weeks and some hours until the wedding. I wasn't sure this would actually happen, but it seems to be coming together. I wish I wasn't so tired so I could enjoy this time, but I am f-ing exhausted. I am taking a new medication to cover for the exhaustion, but more and more, I am realizing, I am barely functional. Today, I left work after a really hard week and 20+ partner nominations in one day, I noticed for the first time the new Nintendo building that was sprouting up beyond the half-court/basketball hoop area. Its at least 3 stories high, all the iron work for the new offices... I guess I remember the crane being there, but wow, that thing just appeared like magic.

My second WTF observation was the missing building by the thrift store. I cant even say I remember a building being there in all honesty... it just seems emptier than it was. I think there was something there. Maybe? I mean, I have driven on that road every day I am going home and demolition didnt happen overnight...

I have had a really tough week. I havent found the energy to make myself breakfast or lunch to take to work, I havent slept well, my work week sucked... I could barely drag myself through classes and I dont know how I am going to survive this quarter and the 6 more after this one... And I miss my fiance. I havent cooked for him or seen much of him lately. I am lonely. I miss spending time with my friends, I wonder what kind of horrible friend I am for not seeing them in ages.

I am worried that I will not be able to sleep any better than I am. Even if I didnt have to go to school for 16-20 hours a week, if I get a career, it will want 50-60 hours a week, so I won't be able to have a life after I get done with school. What if I am never able to sleep any better? I couldn't be a mom like this. I'd be a terrible mother with as tired as I am. I dont even take good enough care of my fiance, my dogs or my home... I honestly don't think I am going to get better. I don't think I could be mother if I wasn't better. Because let's face it: I need a mother to take care of me, because I am definitely not well enough to take care of myself.

Sad, lonely blog never gets updated...

I guess its been darn near forever since I have updated this... so here goes: Finished my second quarter at UWB. This one was harder than the last one, I didnt expect it to be easier, but wow. I start back again with E-Marketing and Finance next Tuesday, and I keep telling myself 2 down, 9 to go (quarters that is...)
I have my wedding dress, my invitations and everyone on my side of the family has made travel arrangements, except my dad, who I am not sure will come. This is sad for me, but its not unexpected, he has to do his own thing. I am getting healthier, with the help of medications and doctors... I am hoping that month by month, I will get healthier and healthier until ta-da, I am normal. Unfortunately, I have no idea what normal is or how to know that I am "normal".
My job is going well, I like it still... I like my team, I like my program manager, I like what I am doing for the most part... I still want to finish school and get the heck out of the dialing business. I guess this is the issue: I have been in the business of executing for so long, I want to get into the business of orchestrating, creating, developing now. I want to delegate to people who will do the executing!
I am excited that race season has started. Chuckanut 50K happened this weekend and Michael ran exceptionally well. I was very proud of him. I am always proud of him. I am happy to see the other runner people and I am excited that Michael's hard work is paying off so far.