Drifting along in life...

Four weeks and some hours until the wedding. I wasn't sure this would actually happen, but it seems to be coming together. I wish I wasn't so tired so I could enjoy this time, but I am f-ing exhausted. I am taking a new medication to cover for the exhaustion, but more and more, I am realizing, I am barely functional. Today, I left work after a really hard week and 20+ partner nominations in one day, I noticed for the first time the new Nintendo building that was sprouting up beyond the half-court/basketball hoop area. Its at least 3 stories high, all the iron work for the new offices... I guess I remember the crane being there, but wow, that thing just appeared like magic.

My second WTF observation was the missing building by the thrift store. I cant even say I remember a building being there in all honesty... it just seems emptier than it was. I think there was something there. Maybe? I mean, I have driven on that road every day I am going home and demolition didnt happen overnight...

I have had a really tough week. I havent found the energy to make myself breakfast or lunch to take to work, I havent slept well, my work week sucked... I could barely drag myself through classes and I dont know how I am going to survive this quarter and the 6 more after this one... And I miss my fiance. I havent cooked for him or seen much of him lately. I am lonely. I miss spending time with my friends, I wonder what kind of horrible friend I am for not seeing them in ages.

I am worried that I will not be able to sleep any better than I am. Even if I didnt have to go to school for 16-20 hours a week, if I get a career, it will want 50-60 hours a week, so I won't be able to have a life after I get done with school. What if I am never able to sleep any better? I couldn't be a mom like this. I'd be a terrible mother with as tired as I am. I dont even take good enough care of my fiance, my dogs or my home... I honestly don't think I am going to get better. I don't think I could be mother if I wasn't better. Because let's face it: I need a mother to take care of me, because I am definitely not well enough to take care of myself.