Drifting along in life...

Four weeks and some hours until the wedding. I wasn't sure this would actually happen, but it seems to be coming together. I wish I wasn't so tired so I could enjoy this time, but I am f-ing exhausted. I am taking a new medication to cover for the exhaustion, but more and more, I am realizing, I am barely functional. Today, I left work after a really hard week and 20+ partner nominations in one day, I noticed for the first time the new Nintendo building that was sprouting up beyond the half-court/basketball hoop area. Its at least 3 stories high, all the iron work for the new offices... I guess I remember the crane being there, but wow, that thing just appeared like magic.

My second WTF observation was the missing building by the thrift store. I cant even say I remember a building being there in all honesty... it just seems emptier than it was. I think there was something there. Maybe? I mean, I have driven on that road every day I am going home and demolition didnt happen overnight...

I have had a really tough week. I havent found the energy to make myself breakfast or lunch to take to work, I havent slept well, my work week sucked... I could barely drag myself through classes and I dont know how I am going to survive this quarter and the 6 more after this one... And I miss my fiance. I havent cooked for him or seen much of him lately. I am lonely. I miss spending time with my friends, I wonder what kind of horrible friend I am for not seeing them in ages.

I am worried that I will not be able to sleep any better than I am. Even if I didnt have to go to school for 16-20 hours a week, if I get a career, it will want 50-60 hours a week, so I won't be able to have a life after I get done with school. What if I am never able to sleep any better? I couldn't be a mom like this. I'd be a terrible mother with as tired as I am. I dont even take good enough care of my fiance, my dogs or my home... I honestly don't think I am going to get better. I don't think I could be mother if I wasn't better. Because let's face it: I need a mother to take care of me, because I am definitely not well enough to take care of myself.

Sad, lonely blog never gets updated...

I guess its been darn near forever since I have updated this... so here goes: Finished my second quarter at UWB. This one was harder than the last one, I didnt expect it to be easier, but wow. I start back again with E-Marketing and Finance next Tuesday, and I keep telling myself 2 down, 9 to go (quarters that is...)
I have my wedding dress, my invitations and everyone on my side of the family has made travel arrangements, except my dad, who I am not sure will come. This is sad for me, but its not unexpected, he has to do his own thing. I am getting healthier, with the help of medications and doctors... I am hoping that month by month, I will get healthier and healthier until ta-da, I am normal. Unfortunately, I have no idea what normal is or how to know that I am "normal".
My job is going well, I like it still... I like my team, I like my program manager, I like what I am doing for the most part... I still want to finish school and get the heck out of the dialing business. I guess this is the issue: I have been in the business of executing for so long, I want to get into the business of orchestrating, creating, developing now. I want to delegate to people who will do the executing!
I am excited that race season has started. Chuckanut 50K happened this weekend and Michael ran exceptionally well. I was very proud of him. I am always proud of him. I am happy to see the other runner people and I am excited that Michael's hard work is paying off so far.

Long time, no post!

Well, I have finished school for the quarter and it kicked my butt. I didnt start Christmas shopping until a few weeks ago, then I got inundated inquiries about the wedding. I know I should have been working harder on the wedding planning, but life happens! Michael's injury is healing well, but it was so stressful to have all of this going on at once!

We have picked the location, we are hammering out details - like the time, caterer, etc. Jace's birthday is coming up in just a few days, so we have a birthday party for him and also a birthday dinner for Michael (big old 25!) Jenni, Laurel and I are going to the Bridal Expo in Seattle in January. Michael is also doing a 50K "fitness test" on January 10th. I still love the concept of a 50K fitness test...

So now, the wedding is set for 5-16-09 and I need to get around to finding a dress... The fun never ends.

No adventure for you, not yours!

Its probably better that we scratch the plans for an adventure on short notice... I think its probably best that my sinuses heal up from this sinus infection and that I get some R&R with Michael. With Michael in school too, I miss him more and I spend a lot of time aimlessly surfing the net and doing homework for classes next week (yes, I am ahead, if you can believe that!)

I am starting to think about Christmas (this year will require more saving and frugalness because we are both in school!) Right now, it sounds like Zach will deploy and hopefully he will afford a plane ticket for Mom to Seattle if she cant afford it herself. I guess I could work miracles and keep bonusing at work so that I can fly her here too. Or I could just hide under a rock and pretend like it doesnt matter. I miss having my family here.

I am enjoying school and I find it somewhat challenging and equally rewarding. I am also looking forward to the end of the quarter, already. I am just so ready to be done working on my degree. I know I am going to be much more marketable and hopefully can get a few more $$ and maybe a new car of my choosing... I would really like to redo the kitchen.

Still no new info on the wedding, I keep meaning to do something about that but Jenni is heading to Makati on Sunday for two weeks, then its Aaliya's birthday, then Thanksgiving is coming and then finals, Jace and Michael and Anna's birthdays and Christmas, then school starts again and then Ryan and my birthdays, pretty soon May 16th will come and go. I am having elopement thoughts again because I dont have the desire to dress shop, scout locations, talk to caterers and deal with any family issues and no one but me seems to care about a wedding, so why bother? (I think Laurel cares too, she at least hears me when I talk about it...)

Adventure time?

It might just be time for a new adventure... Michael wants to run the Wonderland Trail that goes all the way around Mt. Rainier. According to Scott, it needs to be done ASAP - this weekend or next - to avoid snow... Not that its all the physically demanding for me, I would just be the crew (the only crew?!) but how mentally exhausting! 27+ hours in a car, waiting for the boys (right now, two guys other than Michael are thinking this is a good idea too... maybe 1 more...) and driving and waiting and driving and waiting. Maybe we need to get the deal that can allow my laptop to run off the car, but then again, I still wont have the internet or cell signal.

I am happy to help, I am just wondering what on Earth I could do with myself for that long. I guess I could get a couple of Rachel Gibson books and bring the computer and my school work...

It appears that I could intersect the runners at 7 places, I might be lucky enough to get my own fancy pants sleeping bag to keep me warm and my own headlamp... and oh, how I love planning stuff, list making, organizing and having a funny story to tell after the fact. This definitely would be fun. If I bring the laptop, I could chronical the entire adventure.

Sick before School Starts!

I am home on the couch for the second day in a row. I started to feel like crap last Tuesday, but I was in a training class with Jenni and I couldnt bum out of it. I stuck it out for all 2.5 days (Wed-Fri) and I even found the energy to go to the Cross Country meet to watch Michael race. Finally, yesterday, I went to the doctor and was running a 100.2 fever after taking two Tylenol almost 2 hours earlier. I have a sinus infection, I am on antibiotics and I am coughing a lung out. Senna and Louie have been loving and have taken good care of me.

I start school at UWB tomorrow... I have class at 3:30 tomorrow until 8pm. I have Managerial Economics and Management of Organizations and I am excited and nervous and a little overwhelmed because I havent slept well in over a week from this sinus infection and I have a lot of work to catch up on tomorrow when I return to work. I am totally mentally out of it and I am really exhausted still. Fingers crossed that I am OK tomorrow.

Michael is also starting school tonight! He will have class Tues-Thurs, while I will have class Mon & Wed. Such is life, we'll miss each other, but at least puppy bears wont be alone as much as if we were both going to school Mon and Wed or Tues and Thurs.

Random Stuff - I'm feeling random...

So I got on Facebook because my new client/manager person is on there. WOW, thats sort of strange, huh? I am connecting with work people through it though, not old friends... Well, I do have two cousins on there, but thats OK.

I found a Coach purse I want because I have nothing better to do than want things that are outrageously expensive and not any more useful than something 1/10 of the cost. Oh, well, you cannot blame me for this, I am just a girl. (Signature Zoe bag in Black...)

Jenni and I are looking at a potential wedding venue next week. I have only been thinking about checking this place out since July... nothing major causing the delay, just a lot of procrastination and Makati stole Jenni away from me!

I am starting to actually perform my new job and its exciting and stimulating and now its just time to figure out how to work my butt off to be successful at it so that I can pay for this wedding and maybe a Coach bag and maybe a honeymoon!